Self Betrayal

by Kitty Ya Wen, age 15, from USA

The roses shall be red
The sun shall shine on me
My voice will always be heard
My middle name is victory
Like soft feathers rolled against my face
Everything is beautiful
Like the velvety petals thrown to me
Everything is perfect
I wanted the leaves
And I receive the trees
And all the while my collections grew
I became richer and richer
As my soul became poorer
Now look what you do
Corrupted like a screech of the blackboard
Torn like the hem on my skirt
Unstable like the flags in the wind
I'm unsatisfied with my satisfaction
Now the roses are burning
The sun gives me cancer
'Shut-up' is all I can do
I've been hung from my own heart
Outdone with my own brain
Trampled with my own confidence
I'm rotting in a filth that
Only you can help me out of
You don't even know it's existing
Just make everything worse
Suddenly falling down
Like a hit sparrow
Waiting for the dogs to come around
You make me miserable
I know what I want
I'm so unhappy
So unsatisfied
But unhappiness
Would satisfy me surely
Why am I so miserable
I'm not miserable about you
My heart has stabbed my wit
My own soul is betraying me
I'm so volatile
Nothing's worthwhile
My head is rotting
You're the worm that's sporting my apple
This hell
Is heaven
I want
To get even
With you
And reason
Have I to support all of this?
I'm shaking, corrupted
Half twit, half busted
So high at a low
Wondering how did it go
So sure I'm right there
So dead, not scared
Where is my bus fare
Into your heart
So close you can hear it

Inochi wa hiruna yumeno
hanayo.